Alice in the Heart’s English Translation (Part 5)

This is Part 5 of my project to document the poor text translations in Alice in the Heart ~Wonderful Wonder World~. For more project details and to start from the very beginning, see here.

Our time with Julius in Part 4 is proof that there do exist somewhat normal people in this version of Wonderland. What does the Amusement Park have in store for us?

The color of the text boxes denotes the person speaking:

  • Pink: Alice is talking out loud
  • Gold or Green: Alice is thinking to herself
  • Blue: Someone else is talking to Alice

Amusement Park Intro

Let’s go to the park! It’s run by Gowland, a tone-deaf man who performs terrible music and dresses in loud, eccentric fashion. Boris, modeled after the Cheshire Cat, lives with Gowland and mooches off of him. The park is staffed by eyeless people who dress in an equally gaudy fashion as Gowland.

Boris’ Route

I was looking forward to Boris’ route, but there weren’t many egregious mistakes like there are everywhere else in the game. Plus, he’s is really creepy, so those two things caused me to stop early and not finish his story. I did manage to find a few gems:

Gowland’s Route

What’s there to say about Gowland? He’s insecure, he doesn’t listen when people tell him to stop performing music, and he’s boring. Luckily, there were lots of bad translations to keep me entertained instead.


And that’s it for the amusement park. Are there any lines that stood out as particularly funny this time? I’m still amused by how drastically a sentence can change if you mess up a single word (“he cut me off” vs “he cut me up”).

Next up we’ll go to the Queen of Hearts’ Castle, where we’ll have the opportunity to date the directionally-challenged knight named Ace, the white rabbit who Alice hates named Peter, and… the Queen of Hearts herself! I have no idea what’s in store for our poor little Alice next time. Be sure to come back and laugh at our discoveries!