Headline History
One thing many EarthBound fans overlook is the sheer number of newspaper headlines in the game. There’s a lot of stuff some fans never even see!
I never realized it until I started working on these headline comparisons, but I think the rough translation script might have been REALLY rough. I’m talking THIS rough:
You can see more such scans here.
Basically, some of these phrases are extremely bizarre and unique, and act like translators’ fingerprints. The fact that some of these same phrases appear exactly as-is in the EarthBound translation makes me almost absolutely sure that the entire rough translation script was like the English text in these official guidebook scans. If the translations given to NOA were exactly like that, then the game’s English editors get a million more thumbs up from me. That’s absolutely incredible that text like that could be converted into what we see in the final version 
Crybaby
A lot of the English headlines have slight differences but not enough to warrant being mentioned here. So here are the ones that are especially different or of interest:
Onett Times
| MOTHER 2 | EarthBound |
| Even its clerks get lost in it?! The world’s largest department store, the Fourside Grand Store | Even our clerks get lost in the store! The world’s largest department store, the Fourside Grand |
Twoson Today / Twoson Tribune
| MOTHER 2 | EarthBound |
| The brave local hero named Ness who broke up the Sharks has left Onett. | The brave local hero named Ness who broke up the Sharks has left Onett. Reports that the Mayor stopped the Sharks have been proven to be false |
| Mr. Carpainter Speaks: “Looking back, Happy Happyism was a mistake. I was out of my mind. I cannot apologize enough.” | Regarding Mr. Carpainter Follower states Happy Happyism is wrong Follower claims temporary insanity… |
| Cure your shyness instantly with the book, “Overcoming Shyness”! Available at your local library!” | Are you shy? Do you have trouble talking to people you don’t know? If so, the book “Overcoming Shyness” is your self-help guide to becoming more outgoing. This title is now available at your local bookstore or library. |
| Old MOTHER game is a huge hit among Twoson residents! Nintendo thrown into a fevered haste! | In Twoson, Nintendo’s eight-bit system, the NES, makes a comeback! |
Threek Journal / Threed Journal
| MOTHER 2 | EarthBound |
| Caged Zombies in Southern Threek Speak Out: “It’s not such a bad life once you get used to it.” | Zombie prison warden states inmates believe Our Nest is Best |
| The Twoson Today, the neighboring town’s newspaper, also worth reading. | The Twoson Tribune, the neighboring town’s newspaper, also woth reading Note that the English line has a typo, that’s the real point of interest more than anything. |
Fourside Post
| MOTHER 2 | EarthBound |
| Fourside citizens’ approval rating of Monotoly drops to 50%! Lonely death in the city – Long-haired man with a beard, sunglasses, and an aloha shirt | Over 50% of Fourside citizens now support Anti-Monotoli campaign And on page 23 of the Fourside Post. Lonely demise in the city. Long-haired man with beard, sunglasses and aloha shirt found in street |
| Famed Mr. Monotoly vanishes from Fourside after stating he is going on a trip | Famed Mr. Monotoli leaves Fourside. States he is going on a trip |
| Lucky of the Tonzura Brothers found to have once been a member of the student council. | Lucky of the Runaway Five found to have been in state House of Representatives |
Scarabi Papyrus / Scaraba Papyrus
Note that in MOTHER 2, all of the headlines end with something like, “…According to rumor.” So the joke is that they only get their news through rumors.
| MOTHER 2 | EarthBound |
| Kraken Vanquishers Were Actually Foreign Children… According to rumor. | Miraculous foreign children overwhelm Kraken! |
| Desert pyramid opens its doors for the first time in 300 years… According to rumor. | Activity at pyramid the first in 300 years |
